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Sponsored in memory of Fay and Nathan Holzman.
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[00:00:00] Speaker A: Silver Baltimore RO series is sponsored in memory of Bay and Nathan Holtzman. And may all the learning that's done this entire year be in a for their Neshamos. Tonight's shear has been sponsored by Risa Prince to commemorate the yard side of her grandparents, Yesuda and Fredo Bas Chaim Yitzchak, whose yard sites both take place in Cheshvan. And may the learning done the Nle of the Bear Neshamos.
It is my pleasure to introduce tonight's speaker, Rabanit Amit Yagubi, who we've had before in Baltimore. And I always tell everyone she's this big breath of fresh air in this tiny little package. That's what I always tell people.
She is a dynamic lecturer and mentor for women around the world. She's known for her enthusiasm, warmth, and ability to present Torah ideas with depth, clarity and practical relevance. Drawing on extensive teaching experience, she inspires audiences to grow, reflect, and strengthen their connection, the Torah and themselves. So I'm going to go ahead and turn the program over to her right now.
[00:01:06] Speaker B: Hello, everybody.
So incredible to be kicking off the Rosh Chodesh program for Tafshin Pay Zion should be an incredible, amazing year.
The Chavez writes, a wise person knows how to transform dust into gold, and a fool can transform gold into dustayim. Bases this off a zohar that says that within, afar, within dust can be found gold. I think probably this was the source for the alchemy movement back when.
But what is this idea to be able to transform dust into gold, something which seems meaningless into something that's Ashpaz Paz, which means gold, the most precious thing. How do we go from the Yamim, no rhyme, into the month of Cheshvan into a month that seems regular, but turn that regularness into gold?
Irbin Ahman tells us that a person has to be mashkia, has to invest a tremendous amount of power and of effort into prayer, because prayer can change anything. But he explains that when a person is looking to transport expensive merchandise from point A to point B, there are two ways that a person can do it. There is the path that you take. In those days, they would take their wagon down a paved path, a path that was well known, a path that had already been safely created, and you would get from point A to point B. Now, this was wonderful because you knew your wagon was going to get there safely. You knew the way, you knew how long it was going to take you. But this also had danger, because not only did you know this path and did you know that you could get there safely, but so did the robbers, so did the bandits. And if they knew that a wagon filled with precious cargo was coming, they would lay in wake. And so you would have the ease of the path, the security of the path. But you would have the vulnerability of robbers who are there, who know that people are transporting precious things from point A to point B on this very path.
And so merchants had a different option that they would employ as well.
They would take side routes through the forest, through places that were not well traveled, places that no one expected wagons to be in order to avoid the bandits. But this would provide a different vulnerability, because when you're traveling on a path that is not paved, that doesn't have a precedent on it, then your wagon might get stuck in a pothole in mud. It might take much longer than you anticipated. There are so many unknowns. And so you forego the security of the path to go with this backwards way in order to have security from the Roberts. But you don't have the security of the path.
And says Rabbi Nachman, this method that people use to transport precious cargo is actually a mashal.
For our cargo that we transport. Our prayers are tefillah. Our tefillah can get from point A to point B in one of two ways.
There's the tried and true path.
That's the path of opening up our sitter using the words of Anshay, Knesset, Hagadola. Every single thing that a person needs to daven for is in the words that were written with Ruach Hakodesh. You know that you've covered everything. There's safety, there's security, there's seder in your sitter.
And all of the forces of Tuma, the forces of evil, know that when a Yid comes to Davin, that there's such precious merchandise being about to be transferred. And so they stand there and wait, trying to remove, trying to distract us. And all of us know that feeling of opening up our sitter, being excited to daven. And then we get distracted. There's a phone call. All of a sudden I'm hungry, even though I never eat at this hour of the day. And then, okay, no, no, no, everything worked out fine. And I'm in the middle of davening, and all of a sudden my mind has wandered. Did I say that? Didn't I say that? The list, the robbers, the bandits, they're there in order to distract us, in order to make us not concentrate, in order to prevent the precious merchandise from coming from point A and getting to point B and so there's a backwards route, a route that avoids the robbers, and that's called tepila. In your own words, fila in your own words. When you're thinking your own thoughts, you're saying your own prayers, so you don't get distracted because you're in the middle of composing what it is that you want to say. It's not like you're saying anything by rote. These are new words that are coming now, fresh.
This path is not susceptible to bandits, to robbers.
However, it's fraught with a different danger. Maybe you forget to daven what you're really meant to daven for. Maybe you say things in a way that was not the way that they should have actually come out. And so many of us have experienced praying for something and getting it and realizing, wait a second here, my tefilla was answered, but that's not exactly what I meant when I was saying it. I didn't have the right words.
And so says Rabbi Nachman that a person has to use both methods. A person has to make sure to daven from a sitter, has to make sure that they have the right paved path going. They have to also use the backwards path as to use Torah in my own ways and in my own language. And so we're starting off a fresh new year.
And Hazal ask, why is it that we start off this past Shabbos?
We had Parshas Bereshas this week we have parshas Noah, why are we starting with the parshios now after the Hagim? Wouldn't it make so much more sense to start off Bereshas, the first parsha of Torah on the first Shabbos of the new year. That would make it Shabbos Shuva right at the beginning of the year. And no, say chazal, that wouldn't make more sense. Because if we were to start it only in the Yamim no Ry, then a Jew would think, ah, the only time I can get a fresh start is by the Yamim no ryim is when things are really holy, when things are really serious.
Said, no, no, no, no, no. We're going to have all of those incredible days of El and Tishrei. And then you're going to come into Hashban. And I want you to know, voracious Noah, we're starting again from now.
You missed the opportunities. You were busy with something, you got distracted. Maybe you had a challenge, a relationship challenge during the Yamim Narayan that you didn't succeed at. It's over it passed you, you were too tired. You got to whatever might have happened says, that's okay, you could start again fresh right now, wherever you are, we can pick up and we can find the kedusha right here, right now. To create and to start afresh and anew, the Tsar would disguise himself and go through different towns. And one time he found himself in a tavern, and he was speaking to the people, and he said to them, if the Tsar would walk into this tavern and ask you for any wish that you would want, what would you ask him for?
And so the people would run around and one would say this and another one said that. And there was one man in this tavern who said, oh, come on, such a waste of time to talk like this. The Tsar is never coming into our tavern anyways. Life is short. Just enjoy yourselves, people. Have another drink. Why are we talking about all of these serious things? And he took another shot and said, they're just enjoying life.
The evening ended, and the next night the Tsar himself walked in, this time with all his royal garments. And he saw the same group of men assembled there that were there the night before.
And to each person who said, if the Tsar came, I would need this and I would need that, the Tsar gave money, the Tsar gave property. The Tsar gave to each man what he wanted. And it came to the last guy. And he told the last guy, and you enjoy life. That's what I'm giving you. And he says, no, no, no, but please, your highness Azar, tell us that wherever we are, when we have an opportunity, when a person feels lack, when a person feels an opportunity was missed, when a person feels there's something more that I want, that's Hakadish Parachu walking into our, so to speak, tavern of our regular life and saying, well, if Akadish Baruch Hu was here, what would you ask for?
Take the moment right now, whether it's in my own words, whether it's in my sitter, to open up, take any feeling of.
Of desire that I have, and transform it from a complaint, from a moment of sadness into a tefilla. Don't lose that as Yiddin. Throughout our lives, every prayer we end off, and every prayer we include that to build the base Hamikdash.
We're Giddin who daven for the Beisa Mikdash who are asking for this temple to be built for thousands and thousands of years on the microcosm. This is the Beis Hamikdash which resides in your Shalayim, which we pray we should Be able, we should be to go to it right away on our own individual level.
It's our own bias, our own homes, our own families, our own generations that we hope to see continued to be built, to be me, to be with a strong foundation.
So what is this tefilla for the bas hamikdash? How can we take that prayer and concretize it and bring it down? What do we really do? And so says the madras that just like there is Yerushalayim shalmata, the Jerusalem of this world, and Yerushalayim shalmala and Yerushalayim of on high, so too there's Abe samikdash in the Yerushalayim shalmala in the Yerushalayim on high. There's already a base hamikdash that's completely built and that's fully functioning, that carbanos are brought. And this is the source of the Mahlokis of when Mashiach comes, are we going to build the bas hamikdash? Is the beis hamikdash going to be yorad m Shamayim? Is it going to just come down from Shamayim?
The beis hamikdash that's on high, is that Beis Hamikdash that's currently fully functioning? Is that beis Hamikdash going to come down here? Are we going to build one to mirror it? What is this desa miktash on high? What does it mean when the Medrish tells us that it's fully functioning carbonos are being brought? Who builds that base hamikdash?
And so says the madras that the beis hamikdash was built piece by piece.
We know that throughout the Yamim, no rhyme, we turned takadash baruch hu and we said, remember hashem that we're just dirt, that we're just dusting. Please have mercy on us.
And this year it hit me while I was davening and I said, wait a second.
All my life I looked at that phrase as a plea of hashem, I'm nothing. Everything that I did just have it in context of the fact that I'm afar this idea of humility.
I said, maybe there was a code word in this phrase that Hazal gave us, because we know that we also say to Hakkadosh baruch hu to remember Shokmei afar, to remember those who are buried in the dirt, who are buried in the dust.
Perhaps when we come to hakadosh baruch hu, and we say to hashem I'm just dust. I'm just dirt.
What we're also saying to Hashem is it may be that my merits, it may be that me and what I'm doing was not the best, the greatest.
But I remember, Hashem, I'm connected to the Shochen Afar. I connect myself to Avram, Yitzchak and Yaakov, to the avos, to the Imahos.
Remember the very thing which is like, ah, I'm nothing, I'm fs, I'm zero. But, ah, look at who I'm connected to. Look at who I am.
This dual concept.
And so, who built the Beis Hamikdash of Lamala? The Beis Hamikdash that's in Yerushalayim Shalmala, the Medish tells us that it was built piece by piece.
The first wall was built by Hakadosh Baruch Hu himself and his machone and his camp.
Okay.
The second wall was built by Avraham Avinu and his machine of angels.
Stay there. Third wall, Yitzhak Avinu and his machane. Fourth wall, Yaakov Avinu and his machane.
Ah, so the four walls of the Beis Hamikdash were built by Kadosh Baruch Hu and our avos. But what is this idea of Avraham and his Machane, Yitzchak and his machane?
And so says the Medish, that machane, his camp of angels, this camp that comes with Machane, is Gamachia. 103.
We know that when each one of our avos saw the Makom Hamikdash, each one of them referred to the Makom Hamikdash with a different word, with a different adjective to describe it. When Abram Avinu sees where he's going to do a he sees, he calls it the har.
When Yitzchak Avinu sees the Makom Hamikdash, what does he call it?
A sada, A field.
And when Yaakov Avinu has his famous dream, what does he call the Makoma Miktash base?
A bias.
And so, three different ways to describe the base Hamikdash, this place of completion. And that's because Abias has all different aspects of three different places, says the magic goes much deeper.
When Avraham Avinu is coming to build his wall, what does he have? He has his wall plus the wall of Hakadish Baruch Hu, the Gematria of mahana is 103. And so you have two walls built by two machanas of angels. 103 plus 103 is 206.
What's the gematria of Har?
Har is gematria 205 gematria. You can always add one as the kollel for the gematria of the word itself, which is 206.
When Abraham calls the place Har, he's saying, what I see is so far two of these walls.
Yitzhak Avinu comes along and he builds the third wall. 103 times 3 is 3 is 309.
Guess what? The gematria of Sade is 309.
Yitzhak Avinu perceives a Sada. He perceives three of these walls built by three holy camps.
Yaakov Avino comes and he built. He builds the fourth wall. 103 times 4. 412 Gematria of bias.
412.
Yaakov Avinu sees all four walls of the Beis Hamikdash built.
And so we understand that each one of them is building a different wall of the Beis Hamikdash. And we have in this week's Parasha, the Noach Matzachson.
Noah finds favor in the eyes of Hakadosh Baruch Hu. He's saved into this teva, which was a form of a bias, of a Beis ham mikdash. In a world of confusion, of catastrophe, of destruction, there was a place that stays pure, a place that's a place of safety. Noah, because of his, because of his favor, is able to come into this base Hamikdash.
We know that when we say Bras Kohanim, we say Hakaddush Baruch Hu should grant us with 10 is a funny thing, because 10 has nothing to do with my actual merits, with who I am, with what I've done is. I don't know why I like you. I don't know why I'm giving this to you. But you're just. You're Mosi Chen B'. Enai. You find favor in my eyes. And so therefore I like you. I want to give to you, I want to do for you.
When Moshe Rabbeinu is by the snare, is by the burning bush. Hashem says, your Gaula is going to come, and you're going to be the savior to bring the Jewish people out of Mitsrangan.
And the sign that I give you is when the Jewish people will find.
Will find favor in the eyes of the Egyptians.
Know that at that moment, that's when The Gula is ready to come. Bellas is over. Kaula is right about ready to come.
What is that moment? When did the Jewish people find in the eyes of the Egyptians, in the eyes of our biggest tormentors, the biggest anti Semites ever in history, who hated us, who looked at us like vermin? When did we find hen in their eyes?
On this week's Parasha says that there are three mitzvahs that give a person.
And the Arachaim says, I'm not going to say what those three mitzvahs are because if I did, then everyone would just do these mitzvahs and the rest of the mitzvahs would be left unkept.
But he writes on the Paslok venoach matzachenbey nei Hashem that there are three mitzvahs that are multi Chen.
What are these mitzvahs? We can't know for sure, but we can try to guess. We can try to think. What is it that brings.
We have the four walls of the Beis Hamikdash. The Beis Hamikdash did not only have four walls, it also had a roof.
So who built the roof?
So if we look in the Torah, Moshe Rabbeinu offers its Fila, a paradigm Tefillah, the Eskhanan El Hashem.
I pleaded with Tahanunim fashion the showrush of the word Veshanan. And I prayed is the word now the Ashanan was Moshe Abenu's Tefila Gamatria 515 because Moshe Rabbeinu davened famously 515 times until told him, stop, don't daven anymore. And we know the story. Hashem says, if you daven one more time, you're going to be allowed to go into Eretz Yisrael. You'll be the Mashiach and and you'll build a base on Mikdash. And then that base on Mikdash I could never destroy. And so therefore don't daven one more time because I never wanted to destroy the Jews. I would rather have. I would rather have the base Hamikdash built by someone else, not by you. And then the Beis Hamikdash can be destroyed and not the Jewish people.
But why did Hashem do that to Moshe Rabbeinu? Dafka515telos that he knew in the end he was going to say, well, just stop right over there, ask Moshe to daven for something else to use those tefilas elsewhere and where they were going to actually be used. We know that no tefillah has ever wasted Hashem. Use those tefilas for something else. Because Moshe didn't get to go into the land of Israel. No, no, no. Continues. The medrash.
There were four walls that were built. Moshe Rabbeinu's was the fifth.
103 times 5.
Moshe and his machana was the gag, was the roof, the Eskhanan el Hashem, those 515 tefilos were the completion of the Beis Hamikdash.
It was finished, it was completely built. And since then it's fully functioning. And what's less is for us to bring it down.
Moshe Rabbeinu There are three people who are called in the Torah as having noach in this week's Parsha. Moshe Rabbeinu and Esther Hamalka. These three had Henan.
Perhaps one of the mitzvahs that give us is the mitzvah of Tefillah. And in fact, David Hamelech says.
That when you, your Svataim, when your lips are moving, it gives you.
When a person is davening, it brings pen onto their face.
And that is one of the ways to understand why we call this month okay, Mar, because there's no holidays. But really, Chazal say is an allusion to the word.
The word means whispers of our lips that we take the tefilos of the Yamim narayim. We don't stop there, but our lips continue to whisper, continue to speak. In the tefilos that we just came out of Elul and Tishrei, our lips are used to moving and they continue moving. What a wonderful feeling it was this morning when we were able to daven halal, you know that feeling after sukkus and there's no more halal, back to regular davening. And then boom, comes in. There's halal again, there's there, there's that tefillah again.
The tefill is not over. We're continuing along in that.
So perhaps, and I don't know, no one knows, but maybe one of those mitzvahs of the three that the Arachaim brings down, maybe one of those mitzvahs is the mitzvah of tefillah, that mitzvah that bring finishes the Beis hamikdash, gives the roof of the Beis Hamikdash.
But when did we find in the eyes of the Egyptians, when did the Egyptians look at the Jewish people and say, wow, what an amazing people.
And so during Makat Khosh, we know that the Egyptians were in Their homes paralyzed. They couldn't move and they were in darkness, but they could hear.
And they listened to the Jewish people opening their doors, scurrying around, looking, opening closets, hearing things being moved.
And you can only imagine what the Egyptians were thinking when they heard the Jewish people moving around their apartments.
In the 1970s, there was a crazy blackout. And what happened during this blackout, there was looting. There was people coming and stealing and taking whatever. Because it's a blackout, nobody could do anything. There's darkness, and so all forces of evil come out and there's looting and plundering and taking whatever your heart desires. Now that was in the 1970s. You needed a blackout for that. And now in today's day and age, that kind of looting happens in broad daylight. Somebody told me that in la, there was a store owner who was watching somebody go through his store and pick things up. And look, the guy looked suspicious. And as he's just walking out of the store without paying, the guy's like, excuse me, what are you doing? You have to come and pay. And this person looks back at him and says, what you gonna do? It's less than $1,000 anyways.
Because there was a rule that you're not gonna be sent to jail if you steal for less than $1,000. And so this, in broad daylight comes and he figures out to steal just under $1,000. And he says, what are you gonna do to me? They're anyways gonna take me out of jail. And Mamish walks out of the store in broad daylight.
But of during Khosh, when the Egyptians, who knew that they tormented, that they took advantage, that they abused the Jews, when they hear, and they had a rough year after all of those plagues, when they hear the Jews opening up their cupboards, moving around their homes, what can you imagine every Egyptian anticipated to find? As soon as the lights went on, every Egyptian sat there and said, ah, all right, whatever. Those Jews, they're coming in, they're going to take everything. They think it's theirs anyways. From all of the years of slavery, each one expected to open his eyes and the lights went back on and to find his house looted and completely cleaned out.
But we know that the Jewish people came in, looked around and took nothing.
You can imagine the Nissan.
You come into somebody's house that has been abusing you and your family for generations, and they're powerless to do anything. And you see things that you want, that you deserve, they're actually yours, but you don't touch them.
And the Egyptians look around and they start opening up all their secret places.
And in every secret place, they can see something's been moved, someone's been here, but nothing's been touched.
And at that moment, the biggest anti Semites, the ones who hated us more than anyone else in the world, looked at the Jewish people and said, wow, what a nation.
And now we understand why the Egyptians came after us and said, please take. Take these things, of course. Take it, take it, take it. Did you ever have an experience where you expected somebody to take advantage of you?
You found out that they didn't take advantage of you, and not only are you grateful that they didn't take advantage of you, but you're like, I want to give you something for not taking advantage of me. I want to do something for. For you.
When the Egyptians saw the level of financial integrity that the Jewish people had, we found favor in their eyes.
We want to bring down the bas hamikdash. We want the mitzvos that are going to materialize all of our hopes and our dreams.
We know that in order to build bring down the beis hamikdash, it's to make hakadish Baruch hu's name great. Akidish hashem throughout the world. And that's what we say every time we say kadish sheme raba hashem. May your name be great and well known positively throughout the world. Ladies, look at the rashetavos of this Tefillah Yuda.
Spells the word yosher straightness to be yashar in life.
How do you make hashem's name great? How can you create a kiddush hashem through yashrus?
And maybe totally up for discussion, but maybe one of these mitzvahs that bring hen has to do with financial integrity, has to do with being honest in business, with surprising the world. Unfortunately, there's a term, I think even if you look it up, it's in Webster, perhaps.
Don't Jew me.
Oh, my gosh, he's gonna Jew me.
Unfortunately, there's a term that to Jew someone is to cheat them, to. To. To push them past what they were comfortable with.
When we rectify that as a nation, when we find in their eyes through our financial integrity, that is the greatest form of kiddush hashem to bring down the Beis hamikdash.
And ladies, when a person is yashar straight, yashar is the same letters here a sing a song.
When does a person feel the urge thing?
When I'm singing, it's the greatest feeling. You don't sing when you're not, you're not humming a tune when things aren't going right, you're singing when things are good.
The word shir has the root word shirayim. Shirayim means leftovers. The extras, if you go to a Hasidish tish and the rebbe eats a little bit, what's left over are the shirayim. When does a person come the level of fear of singing?
When a person feels like I have so much, there's extra.
When do we get challenged to the most with financial integrity?
When a person feels like I don't have enough, I need more. And maybe I really actually deserve that. I have to get it by force. I have to do it like that.
And the paradox of life is that the people who look to control and keep everything they have and hold on to what's mine, very often they lose it. And somehow or they stay the same. And somehow the ones who are generous, the ones who are abundant, the ones who feel I have extra and revach, those are the ones who have more wealth and more goodness comes into their lives.
And so we want to bring down the space. HAMIKDASH with its four walls and its roof, 103 times 5, the 515.
Adonai. We have already the koach of Fila and the koach of using our money in the right way, be it sedaka. B financial integrity being Yashar.
And when do we see this integrity?
When everybody is in the yamim, no rhyme and the pressure is on. So of course, when we're in Mar Hashem, in our day to day lives, in the routine of the world, that's when who I really am comes out.
But who am I really?
So you know, Shloma Amalaf composes Eishach Chayel. And Eishachel is like one of the greatest Kirov lessons. You know, you, you teach people. Oh, when you become from your husband, he sings to the wife every Friday night, sings her praises every single Friday night. And then, okay, people say, wow, that's so beautiful. They become from. And then all of a sudden you learn it a little bit deeper. And yes, of course it refers to the wife of the home, but it also refers to the Torah that everybody is singing to the Torah. It refers to Shabbos herself.
And it's a beautiful poem talking about the industrious woman who runs her life.
But it seems like Shlomo Amalek knock in a phrase amongst all the other beautiful phrases that almost seems out of place which phrase?
We go through the eishechayel and we get to the pasuk.
She is like a cargo ship.
Now, ladies, we're post hagim.
Can you imagine a husband being his wife to the hagim and all the sudas that we had? And he says to her, honey, you're like a cargo ship.
You became quite large. We're about to have the challah. Maybe you want to go easy on that after all the sudas. What, you're like a cargo ship. Why not a nicer ship?
A yacht, sailboat, a speedboat, a cargo ship.
One of the ugliest, biggest types of ships that can be.
What does it mean? Haita beniot soher. She is like a cargo ship.
It's funny because in Hebrew, the word oniyot shep oniya has the root of the word ani me.
Now, I ani, we don't have the plural for that word because a person is not many people. That would be a disorder if I had different eyes.
But if I had to make the word ani me, I, who I am into plural, the different facets of who I am, I would add to it me, with all my facets, who I am becomes a ship.
But what does that mean in Hebrew?
Anytime you have the letter yod at the end of a word, it makes the word shelley mine.
And so the word ani actually means an sheli, my alif nun.
But what on earth is alif nun? What does that word mean?
I've never seen that word before.
What does the word the shoresh aleph nun, Most sharashim are three letters, but there are a few that are only two letters. What does the shoresh alif nun mean?
And so actually, we do know this. We've seen the word alif nun.
If I ask you, where are you going?
In Hebrew, I would say, to what destination are you going? The shoresh alif non means destination.
When we say.
From which destination will my salvation come?
Where will I go?
My destination?
Who am I?
I am not what I've done.
I am not what I feel.
I am what my destination is, where I am going.
Ha keaniyot sohar. She is like a cargo ship. We live in a world where having a different opinion is not so mekubal is not so accepted.
We live in a world that pushes for conformity. Everybody should think the same. Everybody should be the same.
The individual threatens the collective, and we know that. We deal with it in our own lives. Which box do you fit into? You got to make sure that you fit in enough to be able to be here, to be able to be there.
There's a plus in conformity, in everybody being the same.
And there's a minus, because I lose my individuality in Lashon Hazal.
Big bodies of water always represent the hamon, the everybody, the collective.
A person looking to be an individual. Who am I?
What's my destination?
Might think that the collective force of humanity, of my community, of where I am, that that might threaten my own individuality. But no, sis Shloma Melech. You don't need to run away from the conformity. You don't need to run away from the currents of society, of where the society is pushing everybody to be and to become. You don't have to run away from it.
In fact, a cargo ship is smack in the middle of the currents of society, of the ocean, of the everyone.
And not only does she not run away from it, but she's in it. And she uses those waters to help her get to her destination.
But she has to have a destination.
She has to have her Masana.
My camp Fun.
What is it that I'm building?
Who are my people? What's my family that I'm going to say, these are our values. This is where I am headed, my destiny.
I'm like a cargo ship. A cargo ship is heavy, is grounded. It doesn't run away from society, it doesn't run away from everything that's going on.
But it's a completely different entity. It uses whatever is happening, but it has its path carded out for it, its destination.
Who are you?
You are where you are headed and coming out of the Yamim Noron, where we had all of our thoughts of where we're going. Hashem says, take Cheshvan and show me where you're headed.
Show me where you're going, where you are moving towards.
When Noah was born, everyone pitied him.
Everyone was so sad for Noah and for his mother.
Why?
Because before Noah was born, every human being was born with his hands, all of his fingers closely together. It was one thing why they didn't have fingers, it was just one hand.
Because before Noah, in order to eat, you needed to plow the earth. You needed to be able to dig. And their hands were like their shovels. That was their tool that they used in order to plant, in order to eat, in order to have their agricultural world.
When Noah was born, he was the first human being to be born with fingers, with his fingers spread open.
And everyone said, why Nebach? What's going to be how's he going to eat? How's he going to be able to plant all of the dirt? All of the afar is going to slip through his fingers.
But Noah didn't take his deformity and become paralyzed by it.
Noah took the dexterity of his fingers and designed tools, clay, haresh tools for planting, shovels, plows.
And he had now tools that people could use that made the work so much easier. And that is when the people of his generation said, how did he get the name Noah? Because when he created, when he designed these tools, these agricultural tools, everybody said to him, whoa, you made our life so much easier.
He brought Noah, he brought comfort to our efforts, to our deeds.
He brought us comfort from the sadness of our hands.
Why were their hands sad? I understand he brought them comfort from the Maasenu, from their deeds. It's now much easier. But why? From the sadness of their hands. What was sad about their hands? And we all know that when a baby is born, a baby is born with his fists tightly, tightly crunched. Holding on.
When a person leaves this world and is nifty, their hands open up and Hazel tell us that this is really the process of spiritual maturity, the process of life. We come into this world thinking, I have to hold on to what's mine. I have to make sure that I'm protecting my things. I have to make sure that I'm holding on, holding on, holding on and keep my. My fists tight.
But as we grow and as we learn and through experience and through amuna and bitafon, we realize that the more we open our hands, the more we relinquish control, the more we allow things to slide through our fingers, the more we have the capacity to receive, the more the word poteach, poter et yadeka umas bi' alah.
The more I am patuah, the more I am open, the more I am willing to receive, the more hakadosh Baruch hu can send me.
And a person has to be careful to open herself to receive from expected or unexpected places.
Sometimes we think that the inspiration, that the holiness that's in the Yamim, no rhyme that's expected.
But then there's unexpected places, places where the Afar, where the dust is actually zahav, is actually gold.
That's the month of Hashvan, where I don't expect to find it here. Hashem says, don't let this month go. There's so much to be found.
This is a month of the capacity to turn dust into gold, to turn that which looks like it was a deformity into the greatest thing that a person can have. If you can imagine if a person doesn't have fingers, the, the way fingers allow me to do things in life.
I'm going to share with you a story.
There was an average who was married, and his wife and him were mostar nefesh for Torah.
And some time goes by and she realizes that from her side of the family, she has a bunch of sisters in law who are very well to do.
And she and her husband are the most simple of the couples.
And every time they're for shabbos with everybody or they have a simcha with everybody, and all of the other sisters in law are showing off the new things that they got and the new jewelry that they have and the beautiful homes that they have. She always used to come home and feel less and feel inadequate. And she would talk to her husband about it, but why don't we have. And. And together they would sit and he would say to her, no, but we have the biggest diamonds. Torah is the biggest diamond. It was machazik. But you know how life is. There's competition, there's seeing. And this one has and that one has, and what this one got for Yantif whenever they're together.
And it became tense in their marriage to a point where she would say, it doesn't even. It says in the Shulchan Arach, you have to buy me jewelry. Come on. And as much as he would explain that he didn't have the money to buy that kind of jewelry, he realized there's something that he needs to do. And he goes and he pours his heart out into feel. And he says, hashem, I want the capacity to make my wife happy. Help me, ribbon.
I know what I have, and I know that what you've given me is enough. And I want to make my wife happy. When he comes home after this heartfelt tefillah, and he says to his wife, listen, I'm not sure what we can afford, what we can't afford, but why don't we go to a jewelry store? Let's get to know your taste a little bit. And they walk into this store and they're looking at different things. And the saleswoman comes up and says, oh, would you like to try this on? And she's trying on this and she's trying on that. And she says, okay, the commons there. How much does this cost? And you know the feeling when you didn't know how much things cost. And then all of a sudden someone tells you and you're like, well, spend that much. And she realizes she's totally out of her league over here in this store. But she's embarrassed, so she keeps on looking around and her husband is like wide eyed deer in the headlights. And the owner of the jewelry store, while she's trying on something with one of the sales reps, calls the husband over and sees him in his, you know, clothing and everything and looks at him and says, you can't afford anything in this store, can you?
And he looks and he's so embarrassed and he says, no, but you know my wife. And maybe one day.
And he looks at him and this was decades ago and he looks at him and he says, listen, there's this new thing and it's called a lab grown diamond. This was all the way, all the way, all the way at the beginning when people didn't know about it. And he said, it's called a lab grown diamond. It's like a diamond in every way, shape and form.
Nobody could tell that it's not a diamond. It acts, behaves just like a diamond, but it's mamish, mumish fraction of the price. He says, I could sell you a ring for a couple hundred dollars. A ring that looks like it's thousands and thousands and thousands of dollars.
You want to do that?
And the Avrah looks and says, yeah. He says, okay, follow my lead, don't say anything, fine. They're by the showroom and the owner goes over and he says to the woman, you have very classy taste. I can tell you need something special.
And he brings her over and he says, try this ring on. That's this beautiful, stunning, shiny, huge rock ring.
And she tries it on and she already knows what the prices of the small diamonds cost. And so he says, it's really, really beautiful. But I don't know, I don't think it's for us, maybe not at this stage in our life. And the jewelry owner says to the husband, look at your wife, how her eyes lit up because of the brightness of this diamond you have to buy for her. And now she feels bad for her husband. She's like, no, no, no, he'll buy me anything I want. But I don't really know if she takes off the ring, she puts it back and she says, you know, maybe we'll, we'll come back another time. And they walk out of the store the next day the husband comes in, the store owner winks at him and says, I got you. And he said, give sells him this ring for a Couple hundred dollars, puts it into this beautiful bag and this beautiful box and everything wraps it nicely, comes to his Rebbetzin and he gives her this bag. The bag is so fancy, so nice looking maze. What? She says. And he says, it's for you. She opens up the bag and there's this beautiful box with beautiful ribbon. Everything's so luxurious. He opens up this box, there's a little light inside and there's this ring shining, stunning ring. He looks at him and she says, what You.
[00:51:25] Speaker A: How?
[00:51:25] Speaker B: But how did you. What? What? And he says, sir, it's for you. You're my diamond. She says, how were you able to do this? Like we couldn't afford anything in that store. Not alone. And he says, sir, I'm giving two altanai on condition, no questions, it's yours. You want it, enjoy it.
And she's in cloud nine and she gets to the next family gathering and she's, you know, running her ring like this and her sisters and I say, whoa, what is that diamond that everybody is looking at? And she says, yeah, my husband bought it for me. I don't know, he told me I can't ask any questions. And you know, one of the more discerning sisters in law is like, can I see it? She takes it off and she's looking to try to see, you know, how to see if it's real NASA. She looks and she says, I've never seen a ring like it. She gives her haskama. Everybody else is like, wow.
And the woman gets the confidence that she needed to get from this piece of jewelry.
And life goes on. As life goes on and their family grows and it comes time that she needs to marry off a child.
And her and her husband are sitting and thinking, are we going to pay for our daughter's wedding?
We need $20,000. That's what the going great was. We need $20,000 to be able to marry off our daughter. Where are we going to get the money to go and to borrow and gamach and the loans and how are we going to do it? And they're back and forth figuring it out with their savings and then all the other children underneath. And the wife looks at her husband and she says to him, you know, years ago you bought me this ring because I felt like I needed a diamond.
But you know what, you're right. My family, my children, my life, these are my diamonds now. I don't need this ring to feel qualified and like I can stand in this world. She says, we'll sell the ring. Who knows how much it's worth now we'll sell the ring, and we'll be able to make this hasana with COVID All of a sudden, her husband says, now, not the ring that I bought for you. His heart is pounding. That's yours. We're not selling it. We're not selling. She says, wow, honey, that's so sweet of you, but, you know, okay, we'll do. Let me figure out what we're gonna do. Her husband goes to sleep that night. He can barely sleep. He knows when his wife. What's she gonna do? She's gonna find out when she tries to sell it. A real jeweler will know that she's been wearing something fake, that he only paid a couple hundred dollars this whole time. She's gonna be so angry about everything and. And what's gonna be. And he's so nervous. He goes back to that same arunachodesh, that.
And he pours his heart out, and he says, I just want to make her happy. Please, Hashem, help me. Save me in this.
Meanwhile, his wife, that next morning, sends everybody out of the house and goes to a jewelry shop. She goes to a jewelry shop. She walks in, she speaks to the proprietor, and she says, I have a very, very expensive piece of jewelry. My daughter is getting married. My husband doesn't know, but I'd like to sell the piece of jewelry in order to be able to marry off my daughter.
But it's very expensive from a long time ago. I wanted you to assess it.
The jeweler looks at the ring, and in a few minutes, right away, he sees it's not a. It's not. It's not worth more than a couple hundred dollars. But he looks at this woman, and he sees her body language, and he says to her, you know, I'm not good at assessing a piece like this. My brother is also a jeweler. I'll give you his phone number. Call him, make an appointment. He can assess it for you properly.
She's a little bit out of her comfort zone over here. And she says, oh, okay, okay, yes, okay, fine. And she leaves the store immediately. He calls up his brother, and he says to him, you don't understand what just happened. He said, you remember last week, both of these brothers had children who were coming to the age of Shidduchim? He said, remember just last week, we said, you know what we should do before we start off our children in Shidduchim? We should find a mitzvah to do. Akhnas' kala as a. Before we start off in our parsha, and we were just kind of talking about how we wanted this. And look, when you want something, Hakadosh Baruch Hu sends it. He says, this lady walks in, she's clearly in desperate need of money in order to marry off her daughter. She wants to do it, but he knows that her husband shouldn't feel bad that she's selling her jewelry. I have an idea her ring is worthless. A couple hundred dollars. What if we tell her that it's worth $20,000? I'll give 10,000, you give 10,000, this will be our mitzvah.
The brother says, look, that sounds great, but it's like, is her family really like an Ehrlich Yashar family? It's really the. It's the right place to do it. And the brother says, listen, it looked like. It looked like it. And here's the. Here's the opportunity. Let's take it. The brother says, okay, I'm in.
A while later, he gets a phone call from this woman. She's very nervous in her voice. Your brother gave you my number. I have a ring for you to say. He says, oh, oh, yes, yes, yes. I'm very busy today, but if you can come in at 2 o' clock and see you.
So sure. She comes in at 2 o' clock. And he makes this whole big deal. Wow, this is incredible. How did you get this and everything?
He looks at it and he says to her, or something like this, I can give you $19,000.
Her jaw drops. $19,000 quickly composes herself. Like a good Israeli, a negotiator. She says, maze gagza kilo. That's the highest you can give me. And he looks and he says, you know what? You're right. For something like this, I can give you $20,000. 20. $20,000. The entire school. She can't believe it. This is a sign from Shamayim. He says, okay, I agree. And he says to her, listen, can I write you a certified check right now from the bank so that you have it? And we make the exchange right now?
She says, yeah, sure you can. He writes her a certified check for $20,000.
She gets home, sits on her couch, and she's in a daze. Meanwhile, everybody's coming home, the house is flying, and her husband is coming up the stairs.
And he walks in, he sees his wife on the couch staring at the wall, everything flying, dinner is not ready. And he's like, dude, found out. She's devastated. And he looks at her and she looks at him and says, I Don't understand you. And he's like, listen, everything I did was because I loved you. And she says, but how could you do it? How did you manage? And he says, manage what? And she pulls out the check, and she says, look, you're so smart. How are you able to afford it back then? What did you do? And look, we have all the money now for the class. And he looks at the check and he says, where'd you get this from? And she says, I did it. I sold the ring. And look, Akadish Baruch Hu sent it to us. We can marry her off.
And he says, who did you sell it to? And she says, this jeweler, like such a good jeweler. And he gave me the money. Certified check, right away. Why aren't you happy? And he goes, no, now I am happy. I am happy. Seven Tovo. Mazel tov.
The next morning, he says to her, so tell me, what was the address of this jeweler? And she tells him exactly where it was. And he says, okay, fine, great. This is amazing. Hashtag makes miracles. And he leaves, and he walks straight to the jeweler. He knocks on the door and he says, yesterday my wife was here. Okay, and you bought a ring from her?
Yes.
And the average turns to the jeweler and says, that ring was worthless. It was worth a couple hundred dollars.
You gave my wife $20,000 for it. And he looks at the jeweler and he says, I can't pay you back all the money right now, but I'll make a payment plan with you. And little by little, I will pay you back every dollar of that money that you thought you were getting. A real diamond, and it wasn't real. I bought that for my wife years ago. She thought it was real, but I'll pay you back for the mistake.
The jeweler looks at him and says to him, can you wait here five minutes?
And the average says, you don't have to call the police. I. I'm going to pay you back. It's. I didn't mean to do that. I didn't mean to trick you. She did. She didn't know. I'll pay you back. And he says, no, no, no, I'm not calling the police. Can you wait here five minutes? No. He says, yes, I'll wait. The jeweler quickly calls up his brother and says, you're not going to believe who's in my store. You must come right now. The brother comes over, hops over, and together, the two brothers, the jewelers look at this man who's in agony, who's you can see the anxiety all over his face. And say to him, my brother, yesterday when your wife came in, right away we saw that her ring was not worth more than a couple hundred dollars.
But we also saw that this was a mitzvah of.
And we had decided from before this that we wanted this mitzvah. And so they turn to this father and they say to him, this is a gift to you.
You take the money, marry off your daughter with Kabul, with dignity, and never tell your wife. This is our secret. The three of us, we wanted it to be beset there. So, okay, now you know. But nobody else can know. Kyatka, you're gonna. You shake your hand on that.
He looks and he says, what? Really, Bemet?
Yeah. I shake my hand. And he walks out in a daze, like his wife had walked out in a daze.
But this diamond, that wasn't really a diamond, I got over a couple hundred dollars because of my tefillah. And she was walking around with something worthless. And daska, because it was something worthless, when she comes years later to pawn, becomes worth so much.
Because that's the koachavayed that prayer brings down to us from both paths, from the well trodden path of our sitter and from the backward routes of our own language to make use of both to bring down the Beis ham mikdash with yitzgadal, the yitkadash sheme rabba with Yosher, to be able to. To sing, to share, because we're yashar to know who I am Ani an Shali, where is my destination?
Where am I going?
How am I going to daven to be able to bring myself towards that.
May you open your hands and fill us with so much. Baracha is epitomized by the tefillah of Geshem.
In Eretz Yisrael. Already on the 7th of Cheshva next week, they switch Barak Alenum in Chutla art. We wait until December.
We're all saying, now, what is this idea of Mayim of water that comes down.
Every time you pray for rain?
Fill our hands from your blessings.
Bless every single one of you and everyone in Amisrael with wide hands to receive of unlimited bracha and blessing. And we should be zocha mikdash should be matched by the beis hamikdash shalmata with Geula shalema and Mashiach zitkeno.
Thank you.
[01:03:30] Speaker A: Amen.
[01:03:31] Speaker B: That was beautiful.
[01:03:33] Speaker A: Thank you so much. It was absolutely beautiful.
[01:03:36] Speaker B: Beautiful.
[01:03:37] Speaker A: Just amazing. Thank you.
[01:03:40] Speaker B: Thank you. Thank you.
[01:03:42] Speaker A: Thank you so much. Amit.
Ladies, it left us a lot of good things to think about as we go in and start and continue our our week of learning that we just started. So hopefully we'll see all of you during this week as we begin our fall semester. And Amit, we thank you so much and hope to see you again sometime soon, hopefully in person.
[01:04:03] Speaker B: Amen. Amen. Amen. Thank you.
[01:04:07] Speaker A: Thank you. Have a wonderful night, everybody.
You, too. Take care.
Thank you.
[01:04:12] Speaker B: Andrea, thank you so much.
Beautiful.
